beastkingnaoma | (no subject)

(no subject)

Well today wasn't fun.

Somehow I broke the toaster, blender, and my electric razor, and all I did was touch them.

I thought shit like that only happened in cartoons.

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....wait, what?

I touched 'em and they shorted out.

Like, FFFZZZT pop.

That's...fuckin' weird.

You sure you're not a psychic duelist too?

No cards were in my hand when I did it.

...that is weird.

Yeah.

Okay you can't touch the phone then so we can still order out for dinner.

Well my PDA seems to be okay.

I'm not taking chances.

Uh huh.

Don't take that tone of text with me.

I'll fucking throw a lion at you.

MAN I COULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF A BRAIN LION

Not two of them you couldn't!

Totally could.

Okay but not a giant fire breathing gorilla.

...

Nah probably that too but I'd have to lay down right after.

Okay so if there was a giant fire breathing gorilla

Riding a lion.

It'd kick your ass.

That'd have to be a pretty big lion.

Maybe ya fizzled it out with yer suck.

Oh good, the flamer is back.

...Ah, right, the hag asked ya ta kick my ass or somethin'.

Thought ya 'ad a contract that kept ya from doin' shit like that, goofy teeth.

Nah I'm only prevented from doing that if it's the ender.

But apparently you're a like a game a whack-a-mole, you just keep poppin' back up.

I dunno whether ta be insulted or 'appy.

Do ya got Five God Dragon in yer deck?

No.

I run good cards.

That's good ta 'ear, goofy teeth!

But the deal is I get ta stay out two days in the idiot's body, jus' like 'e got two days out.

Oh I was just gonna hit ya with something heavy over and over.

That's a waste of my time an' that's a waste of yer time.

We're currently having one of the most stupid pointless conversations on the fucking planet and you're saying something ELSE would be wasting our time?

Nah, nah. Stupid and pointless conversations would be talkin' 'bout how we should seduce the academy, like a bunch of 'ormone addled teenage demons.

We've moved past that kinda shit. This is better than most of my conversations with my Emperors anyway.

...

What, the bird, the walking teenage wetdream, and that guy that looks like a fridge?

Don't forget neckbeard.

I haven't seen anybody with a neckbeard.

He's probably off with strippers. Touching 'em with his neckbeard. In ways that most men can only 'ope to never touch a stripper.

..So your minions uses are..

Telling you if there's a noxious fume via dying..

Emergency tits to stare at..

Moving couches..

And a comic book encyclopedia?

I'm more useful an' that!

Yes. She'll also combust flammable fumes. And sometimes attacks palm trees.

...Yeah pretty fuckin' much. She breaks magic, at least.

He yells too. Don't forget the fuckin' yelling. He doesn't know when ta fucking stop.

I think our definitions of neckbeard are a lil' different, goofy teeth.

Fuck you.

I guess it's good if you're viciously abusing future fusion and dragon's mirror and shit.

But I've seen too many jackasses use it as their wincon and fall apart if anything broke it.

It's best when you viciously abuse Red-Eyes Wyvern.

Oh god.

Now ya see why I'm so pissy.

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