beastkingnaoma | (no subject)

(no subject)

GOD.

I HATE LINES AND FINES SO MUCH.

LIKE, I HATE THEM MORE THAN... SOME GODDAMN THING I HATE A LOT.

SO MUCH.

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Well, at least you handled it in a healthy and productive manner?

I ate a stapler.

... I'd suggest going to a doctor, dear.

No I'm fine.

I just had to do it to move things along faster.

Go to a doctor dear.

...

But I'm fine!

Doctor. Get it removed.

Look at it this way.

Life is like a line. When you get to the front - you die.

....

That's a terrible way to look at it!

...okay, lemme try again.

I'll wait.

Life is like a line. The further along in it you get, the more you want to kill and devour the guys around you.

That makes no sense and yet accurately reflects my feelings at the same time.

....okay. One more try.

Life is like a line. Use your ice beam to freeze the guys in front of you and use them as stepping stones to get to the end.

Then drop a power bomb at the end to blow out the wall and reveal the hidden missile pack.

...

...yeah that feels right.

...YEAH WELL

FUCK YOU!

That's a little harsh.

...no it wasn't.

..Damn I thought that'd work.

...work how?

If I tell you, you'll hit me with a frying pan.

Well all that guarantees is if that you don't tell me, I'll hit you with two.

And all that guarantees is if I tell you after all this, you'll do something worse.

...I promise I won't do anything bad. Geez.

Now tell me.

Y'know like half the people around here get caught in endless apology loops all the time?

...whaddaya mean?

I've noticed that a lot of people around here tend to apologize for everything, always.

So I decided I was gonna see how many apologies I could get for things that didn't require apologies.

...you're collecting sorries?

You loser.

I'm bored.

That's a weird way to solve boredom.

Well I'm also trying to get work but that's harder.

I thought you were a boxer.

I feel like it's unfair if I keep doing that.

...unfair?

I'm not exactly normal anymore.

I'd have an unfair advantage, it feels like.

So I'm going to put that on hold for a while until I can be sure I don't.

Ohhhh.

...yeah, I guess that kinda makes sense.

...I dunno, I could find something for you to do here if y'want.

I'm thinking of doing.

Something where I hit things.

I'm gonna bodyguard for somebody here in a bit though, and make some money that way.

Huh. What shmuck are you guarding?

Grant and his girlfriend.

... ...which one, there's like three.

The one that looks like a g..

The one with white hair.

Oh, that shmuck.

Kay. Good luck.

It shouldn't be that hard.

and now that I have said that I expect him to do something stupid and I have to constantly protect him from behind the scenes to preserve his self-confidence.

...isn't he always tryin' to get cats outta trees n'shit?

Yep.

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